I Almost Do

A brief flashback
Close your eyes and remember
Open them and forget
It all comes in glimpses
Everything does

Write and then stop
Love me and then leave
Leave me and then
Think of me and
You won’t

Neither will I
Maybe it’s pride
Maybe, it’s just that it really is true
That a flame that burns that bright
Can only burn for so long

But sometimes I wonder if
Maybe, we weren’t that flame
Maybe, we were

And then I almost..

The thing is
I can shut you off at any time
I usually do
And what I’ve learned is that
Is not always what it appears to be

Sometimes strength
Is just pushing what we don’t want
out of our minds
While continuing to live happily

And then I wonder
If it’s our strength;
particularly that strength
That’s killing us

And that maybe,
We aren’t supposed to fight
those thoughts
Because maybe there’s a reason
It’s so hard to fight them

You see the thing is
I can shut you out but
Lately, sweetheart,
I don’t want to

And every time I do,
I almost don’t
And I hope,
You know that every time it’s not you
It almost is

And I almost..

I really do